The conflict I would like to avoid

The conflict I would like to avoid is the one based on opinions and assumptions that haven’t been acknowledged or explored. Socrates said that “The unexamined life is not worth living”. It is the opinions and assumptions that we need to examine, both other people’s and especially our own.

Stop and ask yourself: “What might they be assuming that makes them act in that way?”. And then ask the same question of yourself: “What might I be assuming that makes me act in this way?”. Look for the whole story, not just the tip of the story iceberg. Pause before you act. As late Stephen Covey said, “seek first to understand [both yourself and others], then to be understood.” For by the time you understand, there may no longer be any need to be understood.